no you cant smoke seaweed
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
