The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
