Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
