do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
