Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
