Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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