im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
