I cockslap morals
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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