in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
