So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
