It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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