Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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