when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
