Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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