Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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