that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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