What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
