So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
