I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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