dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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