People in love make me want to vomit
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
