sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I want to make a zoo with you.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
