glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
