eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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