Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
