I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
