So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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