I think i sorta joined a cult last night
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
