Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
