Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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