Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
