I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
FUCK WHALES
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
