I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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