I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
