Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize