i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
