After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
