there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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