so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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