The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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