my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
