I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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