last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
