went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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