then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
