T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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