If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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