he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you had me at cake vodka
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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