yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
where are my eyebrows?
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