i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
